As your wedding day approaches, you’re likely to have a few close relatives and friends tossing hands in the air to help with ceremony- and reception-related tasks. Not sure what to have them do? There are lots of big-day tasks you can delegate to your friends and family. With that being said, there are plenty of things you shouldn’t expect a guest to help you with on the big day. Read on for those, too.

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Do: Ask them to help tell guests what’s next.

A lot of guests will take their cues from key family members and wedding party members. Remind your family and closest friends that if they dance, guests will dance. If they take their seats to start dinner promptly, so will guests. In short, ask them to set the tone for a fun, memorable celebration.

Don’t: Ask them to move furniture during the wedding.

Even if it’s just a matter of moving ceremony chairs to the reception area, this is something that should be managed by your vendors. You don’t want to risk your friends and family getting sweaty in the process. There is also a matter of attention to details. A wedding planner and stylist are always going to put in the extra efforts to have everything looking picture perfect. This includes the lining up of reception chairs after the ceremony so that it looks neat and ready for the next phase of the wedding day.

Do: Ask them to help round up guests for formal photos.

Friends and family should never get in the way of your photographer, but they may be able to help find missing family members when formal portraits are being taken. If this help is needed, the photographer or wedding planner will likely assign a specific person to the task. To be a step ahead of this, you might ask a close friend who knows everyone to be on-hand during the portraits. It is really helpful to have someone that knows the families and can be a wee bit bossy!! Sometimes guests find it more important to find the bar than stick around for the formal family photos and in my experience, there is always one family member that plays hard to wrangle.

Don’t: Ask them to be the point-person to deal with unruly guests.

If someone in attendance at your wedding gets out of hand, it’s almost always best to have the staff deal with this issue. Your vendors haven’t been drinking for hours, and are therefore likely to be the most pragmatic and fair in their approach to any dilemmas that arise between guests.

Related: Essential Wedding Tasks You Should—and Shouldn’t—Delegate

Do: Ask them to be involved in the ceremony.

Beyond the traditional ceremonial tasks, you may opt to request your close friends help with seating guests and passing out programs. If there’s a ceremonial tradition, like a special entrance or blessing, that requires the involvement of friends and family, this can be a great way to honour them.

Don’t: Ask them to serve as staff for setup and breakdown.

In an effort to cut costs, you might be thinking you can enlist a few of your siblings to help with the setup or breakdown so your vendors don’t need to have so much staff on-hand. Unfortunately, this is not negotiable. Your vendors will likely insist that they have the setup and breakdown under control, as there are safety concerns and breakable items to consider. It is a really big ask to have a family or friend take on the management of your wedding day set up. Not only does it take them away from the pre-wedding getting ready fun it a sure-fire way to stress someone out on a day that should be enjoyed by all.

Do: Ask them to help you change your look.

If you’re wearing more than one outfit, enlist your girlfriends to help you with your costume changes so they go quickly and efficiently. Have a friend who’s great with hair and makeup? Maybe she can help refresh your look. Have a friend who’s a stylist? Ask her to coordinate your extra outfit so it’s pressed, ready, and waiting in a changing room.

Don’t: Ask them to be responsible for too much.

If you decide to dole out a few tasks to friends and family on your wedding day, make sure there’s never too much one person’s plate. You want them to be a guest first and a helping hand second. Strike that balance and everyone will be happy.

At Fantail Weddings, we offer three packages to help with your planning, set up, pack down and continued advice over the planning process. For more details download our packages from our Service page.