Modern Wedding Etiquette that everyone should know

Most wedding etiquette advice is old and outdated. The motives behind them are to buy more things and anti-feminist rules, but this is not how 2018 is. So, in the spirit of modern, updated wedding etiquette, here are some “rules” to share with your fiance, family or to just keep to yourself on modern wedding etiquette. 

Engagement parties can be formal, informal or you just don’t have to have one at all. Many couples believe that a party is compulsory, but this is definitely not the case. There are many different ways to celebrate your engagement. Some of these might be a party at a bar or a dinner at a restaurant.

Who pays for what is a very commonly asked question. In tradition, the cost of the wedding was heavily paid for by the bride. The bride would pay for the dress, photography, bridesmaids and the whole reception. The groom is then left to pay for the church, honeymoon, and the bride’s flowers. We are not living in that age anymore and women are no longer financial burdens, so the payment for the wedding should be divided by what makes the most sense for everyone.

It is assumed that the guests will want to buy you gifts to mark your special day. Nowadays most couples use the straightforward approach of including their wedding gift registry in their invitations. The point of a registry is to ensure that you do not end up with the same presents, or ones you won’t use. For tips and tricks read creating a gift registry. 

Deciding whether to send invitations to people you know can’t attend can be a hard decision, but we say play it safe. If you really wish they could be at your wedding, show them this with your invitation. It is seen as an honour to be invited to a wedding, and to prevent any misunderstandings it’s easier to just send them the invitation and show them your love.

Plus ones can be complicated, as you may not want a lot of people who you do not know at your wedding. If a guest has a long-term partner then they need to be invited, but it is kind to let all of your guests have a plus one. It also increases their chances of attending. But if you can’t afford or do not want these extra people, plus ones are not necessary.

You should attempt to get out your thank you notes ASAP. If someone gifted you something, they should be thanked. It depends on circumstance how they should be thanked. Young people can be thanked over social media, but older people will appreciate a card and stamp more.

These days you can wear anything to a wedding, including black. But the one rule is you should never wear the same colour as the bride… if she is wearing white, don’t wear white, if she is wearing red, don’t wear red, etc. This gives the couple their moment, as it is their day.

We hope these updated wedding etiquette rules give you some guidance for your own wedding. Fantail weddings would love to help you make all of your decisions, contact us here to get in touch. x